


hold my hand, save my heart

by writerwithacat



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Makoto is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerwithacat/pseuds/writerwithacat
Summary: “I know this is sudden, but I think you’re the only one here who understands me.”orMukuro is a little less willing to stand by and watch her classmates fall into despair.
Relationships: Ikusaba Mukuro & Naegi Makoto, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Maizono Sayaka & Naegi Makoto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	hold my hand, save my heart

Mukuro leaned against the wall next to the school store. She was tempted to hide in her room for a reprieve from pretending to be someone else. It wasn’t like Junko needed help knowing what everyone was doing. Regardless, she wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity for reconnaissance if it helped calm her own paranoia.

She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and immediately shifted her pose as casually as she could to get a better look. Sayaka was approaching with a nervous look on her face.

Mukuro decided not to say anything unless Sayaka talked to her first. If she was being honest, she was surprised she hadn’t killed anyone yet after her breakdown over the motive. It’s true that she and Makoto had comforted her, but she didn’t think it should have made a real difference.

It had been more difficult than she’d thought it would be to watch her classmates lose composure. She didn’t really understand how Junko could relish in despair. Still, knowing everything was going to plan made her happy for her.

“Um… Junko?”

Mukuro met Sayaka’s gaze. “Huh? Do you need something?”

Sayaka looked down. “I’m really sorry, I just… I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I don’t want to be alone right now, and you were so nice the other day…”

Mukuro gave herself a moment to curse her own incompetence in social situations before giving the best response she could muster. “Sure thing! Yesterday was freaking crazy… I don’t blame you for flipping out a bit.”

Sayaka smiled. “Ah, thanks! Do you think we could go to my room?”

“Of course!”

The two walked to Sayaka’s room in a comfortable silence. Mukuro was worried about how she’d handle conversation with an idol, since she ruined conversations with her famous sister almost constantly, but luckily Sayaka didn’t seem to be in a chatty mood.

They entered Sayaka’s dorm. It was a lot plainer than Mukuro’s. Her own room’s walls were covered in guns. Obviously the Ultimate Pop Sensation’s room would be different than hers, but she had at least expected to see something related to singing in here.

“It really is plain, isn’t it?” Sayaka said.

Mukuro blinked. “H-huh? How did you…?”

“I’m psychic!” Sayaka tilted her head and smiled.

“Wait, are you for real?” Mukuro took a step back in faux surprise. She knew Sayaka was just kidding— she’d said it so many times to everyone in their class it would be impossible not to.

“Just kidding!” Sayaka giggled. “Really, you don’t need to look so worried.”

Mukuro huffed. “Jeez… Don’t scare me like that.”

Sayaka sat down on her bed and stared down at her hands. Mukuro was useless with facial expressions, but she assumed that Sayaka had to still be upset over the motive, even if she wasn’t acting like it.

Mukuro’s assumption was confirmed when Sayaka started talking. “Um… I have a confession to make. I actually invited you over here for a specific reason.”

Mukuro sat down next to her. “What is it?”

Sayaka clenched her skirt like she was steeling herself. Her smile was gone. “I know this is sudden, but I think you’re the only one here who understands me.”

Mukuro stayed silent. “I mean… You’re the Ultimate Fashionista, right? I tried talking to Makoto, but… He doesn’t really get it even if he says he does. He doesn’t have fans waiting for him. He doesn’t know what it’s like to deal with…” Sayaka trailed off.

Mukuro cringed internally. This situation was going to take acting skills she didn’t possess. She understood Junko better than anyone else, but applying the knowledge was an entirely different situation.

Sayaka grabbed Mukuro’s hands and looked directly into her eyes. Mukuro stiffened.

“I can’t do this.” Sayaka’s voice grew more shrill with every word. “Those videos… My group… Junko, if I don’t get out of here soon—” She cut herself off, but she didn’t turn away. Her eyes were wide and desperate; her face pale with fear. Mukuro could feel her shaking.

Mukuro was torn. Junko would want her to cause despair— but would being cruel make Sayaka suspicious? She wasn’t good at manipulation like her sister. On the other hand, even if she wanted to comfort her instead, she wouldn’t know how.

A cold, heavy feeling rested in her throat. “Sayaka… I’m flattered or whatever, but I can’t help you.”

Sayaka dug her nails into Mukuro’s hands, seemingly without realizing it. “I know how to tell when someone is faking it. Otherwise I wouldn’t have made it so far in the industry. You… You were being fake, the other day, when you helped me. I’m the same way! That’s why I thought… It was worth the risk to ask you.” Her face was still turned in Mukuro’s direction, but her eyes were unfocused.

Physical confrontations she could handle without breaking a sweat. Emotional confrontations were… far more difficult. She wasn’t scared of social interaction, but she never knew what to do.

Mukuro extracted her hands from Sayaka’s grip. “This whole thing is messed up, and I don’t blame you for being freaked out, but what do you want me to do? We’re all stuck here!”

“I want you to tell me I’m not alone in this. Please just tell me that.”

“That’s a lot to ask a total stranger, isn’t it?”

“I know. But I need to try.”

“But like… You have Makoto. What do you need me for?”

“You’re right. I care about Makoto.” Sayaka said. “But he’s not enough. Not compared to my group. They’re like my family.”

Mukuro tried to summon up her sister’s distinctive confidence. “So what does that have to do with me? I’m not gonna be any better!”

“You haven’t even tried!” Sayaka cried out. “Like I said… If there’s anyone here who’s going to understand me, it’s you.”

Mukuro stood up to leave. “I’m gonna have to pass. Sorry!” She awkwardly made a peace sign with one of her hands.

“No!” Sayaka shot up and grabbed Mukuro’s shoulders. Mukuro stiffened and barely restrained the instinctual urge to throw her off.

“Get off of me! What the hell?!” Mukuro hissed.

“I’m scared!”

“Yeah, no duh! So is everyone else!”

_“I’m scared I’m going to kill someone!”_

Sayaka’s shout was frantic. Her hands trembled against Mukuro’s shoulders.

If she had been anyone else, Sayaka’s confession would have been heartbreaking or disturbing. But Mukuro could only feel bleak satisfaction.

She… still had to say something back, didn’t she.

“Okay.”

Not that.

“Sorry, what?” Sayaka blinked. Her voice was still tearful, but more confused than distressed.

“Uh, I just meant— I don’t…” Mukuro kept talking even though she didn’t know what she was saying. She should probably stop that. “What do you want me to say to that?”

Sayaka stared at her incredulously. “I just confessed I’m thinking about killing someone and that’s your response?”

She was still near hysterical, but at least she seemed more bewildered than suspicious. Mukuro was going to count that as good enough and continue talking.

“Who are you planning to kill?”

Junko was going to be so disappointed in her. She couldn’t even act like her properly long enough for the first murder to happen.

“Makoto.” Sayaka visibly held back a sob. “God, you must think I’m a monster.”

Mukuro felt a slight pang in her heart— of course she didn’t like the idea of Makoto dying. It was Makoto. But she herself had condemned him to die here all the same.

“Don’t kill him. It’ll be too easy for me to connect you to the crime now.”

“Huh…?” Sayaka was more present than before; her gaze focused.

Mukuro decided to pretend everything was normal instead of dealing with the mess of a conversation. She pursed her lips in a Junko-like manner and stared down at Sayaka as condescendingly as possible instead of responding.

Sayaka slowly started giggling. “Junko, what are you doing…?”

“Aren’t you psychic? You tell me!” Mukuro felt a rush of embarrassment. She gripped her tie in lieu of a weapon.

“Oh, I see… You’re secretly Monokuma in disguise.” Sayaka smiled bitterly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be joking around right now. I just… Why aren’t you mad at me? Why aren’t you afraid? Why are you… Doing whatever you’re doing? I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not, and that’s my specialty, you know.”

“I’m not sure what I’m doing either, honestly.” Mukuro admitted. “As for why? I guess you were sort of right when you said we’re similar.” She didn’t know if she really believed that, but it would be nice(?) if it was true. Albeit too silly to say when she wasn’t pretending to be someone else.

Sayaka covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have expected you to solve all my problems.”

“Yeah, well… It’s whatever. You’re forgiven, okay?” Mukuro felt her emotions melt away after such an exhausting confrontation, leaving a sludge of muted, confusing feelings behind.

Sayaka collapsed backwards onto her bed— gracefully, somehow. “What do we do now?”

“I’m not planning on telling anyone if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I know it’s selfish of me to ask after all this, but… Will you be my friend? My real friend. I promise I won’t just rely on you all the time. I want to have someone I can trust, but I want you to be able to trust me too.”

A friend. The best option would be to say no. After all, she was just here to blend in until Junko pretended to lock her up as an example. Then she’d be with her sister, and everything would be fine.

But. Even so.

Talking with Sayaka was different from talking with Makoto. It felt closer to her conversations with Junko, in a way. Sayaka was undoubtedly a better person than Mukuro— but she didn’t think she was. She didn’t shy away from the ugliness of humanity. It was almost ironic, for someone as beautiful as an idol.

Mukuro closed her eyes. It wasn’t being selfish if she said yes, was it? After all, it would make Sayaka’s despair even greater in the end.

“I’ll be your friend, for real. So if I kill someone, it won’t be you!”

Sayaka gave her a queasy smile. “I need to apologize to Makoto.”

“Huh? Are you actually going to tell him?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself if I don’t.” Sayaka took a deep breath.

Mukuro watched her collect herself. It looked less like she was pasting fake emotions on her face, like she’d expected, and more like she’d somehow summoned hope from deep inside of her, despite everything.

“Will you come with me?”

“Of course. That’s… What friends do, right?”

Sayaka nodded. “Thank you. For everything.” She reached out with one hand and slowly, gently, cupped Mukuro’s cheek.

Mukuro barely controlled her flinch. Sayaka’s fingers were warm against her skin. She exhaled, melting into the touch. She couldn’t bring herself to meet her eyes, but it didn’t make it feel any less intimate.

“I think you’re the one who gave me hope. Or maybe it’s more like… You helped me give myself hope.”

“Me?” Mukuro couldn’t help herself from responding incredulously. The irony was probably making Junko collapse into a fit of giggles. She felt a guilty sort of thankfulness that she wasn't here to point it out.

“I’m sorry, was that weird?” Sayaka withdrew her hand.

Mukuro impulsively reached out and grabbed it. “No. I don’t think so at all.”

Their fingers intertwined. They were holding hands, Mukuro realized.

The idea of them being friends… And maybe Makoto being their friend, too… It made something bright well up in her chest. Something she wouldn’t allow herself to name, but that’d she cherish anyway. It would be her secret.

“Let’s go right now.” Sayaka said. Her entire body was tensed in determination, like a soldier about to enter a battle they knew they had to win.

Mukuro smiled. “Mmhmm! I think I know just who to set him up with now once we escape.” Sayaka laughed. “You can’t just say things like that… I still don’t know when you’re joking!”

…A little hope would just make despair even more brilliant in the end anyway, wouldn’t it?


End file.
